SOME Definitions Funny BUT true ----- whyyesor

Classic definitions........

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• 1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
• 2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
• 3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.
• 4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage
• 5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
• 6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
• 7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
• 8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.
• 9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage and success before work.
• 10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
• 11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
• 12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
• 13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
• 14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
• 15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
• 16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
• 17. Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
• 18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
• 19. Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
• 20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
• 21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
• 22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
• 23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
• 24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
• 25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
• 26. Father : A banker provided by nature.
• 27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
• 28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
• 29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
• 30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.